Thursday, November 30, 2006

This Just In

By Steve

Wife Sues Frist For "Wasted Time" Damages After He Pulls Out of POTUS Race
Says “dumb book” only written to “get his name out there”

NASHVILLE, TN -- Karyn McLaughlin Frist, wife of U.S. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.), announced today that she is has filed a lawsuit against her husband for pressuring her to write a book in preparation for his assumed run for the presidency, only to see him drop out of the race nearly two years before election day.

(Left) Senator Bill Frist, unable to hide his concern after learning of his wife's "wasted time" lawsuit.

Her announcement came just hours after Frist announced he would not be seeking the Republican nomination for president in 2008.

"Everyone knows why I wrote that dumb book," said McLaughlin, who authored and has recently been doing press tours for "Love You, Daddy Boy": Daughters Honor the Fathers They Love." I only wrote it because Bill wanted to get his Frist name out there in plenty of time for Iowa and New Hampshire and all that primary B.S. So like a good little wife I did what he wanted - I wasted a lot of time on things like research and ghostwriters - and then he pulls he pulls this crap on me. Well, I'm not going to let him get away with it. I may not be a big-shot politician or famous heart surgeon like he is, but my time is worth something, too."

Senator Frist refused to comment on his wife’s lawsuit, referring all questions to his office manager, who was on vacation until after the first of the year.

The amount of damages being sought by McLaughlin on the basis of her wasted time has not been made public. But indications are that it may become a class-action suit, with other literary wives such as Elizabeth (Mrs. John) Edwards, another recent first-time author, becoming involved should their political husbands also fail to pursue their well-known presidential ambitions.

“It’s really uncharted territory,” said D.C. lawyer and literary agent Benjamin “Briefcase” Torte, who has collaborated on several hastily-written candidate “books” over the years. “Given that large corporations have been leveraging their brand names for years, I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised to see in happening with political families as well. But if she’s claiming breach of promise, this kind of suit could have far-reaching implications. It could cause young people thinking about entering the political field to include agreements about situations like this in their prenups.”

"I understand how people may think this looks ridiculous, going to court and all," said McLaughlin at a hastily arranged press conference. "But if it gets me out of having to spend a full hour with Larry King, that in itself will be worth it."

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