Notable Quotables, Part 2

By Bobby Chang

Continuing from yesterday, here is more of the best from 2009:

"After three weeks of our Summer II choral session (Die Jahreszeiten), I said that in preparations, we had 'three red lights' up (now four red lights are up), and two of the college girls said they only see green lights. I told them that traffic lights only have yellow and red lights, and there are no green lights. The traffic lights, I told them, came from the ING Magyar Nagydíj. None of them know what it was . . . as the ING Magyar Nagydíj is . . . GO!!!!!" -- about the big summer choral event. Now Fox and some cable outlets are in a dispute. If the Magyar Nagydíj is not allowed on the cable system, but they'll allow MTV, what gives? On DirecTV, Indy 500 Time Trials aren't allowed but oh they'll show homosexual acts on their channels.

“We're very criticial (as we should) of Miley Cyrus for her stripper-pole routine and the questionable outfits (which sadly, is what we see even with youth at dance concerts), but what about Sean Kingston at the same Teen Choice Awards earlier in the night with similar provocative sexually suggestive outfits on dancers who performed on two stripper poles? The true sad thing is that we are legitimizing pole dancing, and the teens are leading the way, with both the Kingston backup dancers and Cyrus incidents.” -- A week after the Die Jahreszeiten performance, the Teen Choice Awards had two stripper-pole incidents that enraged many of us.

“I was running in a 5k road race a few weeks ago, and at the finish line, I saw a kid wear an AC Milan jersey. It was the current version with the an online betting site. I told him he was NOT to wear an AC Milan shirt to school because it promoted online gambling. FC Barcelona also has (the same online betting advertising) on the jerseys. Schools need to start banning European sports team jerseys that feature online gambling advertising on the 'kits'" -- Football kits are now carrying online gambling advertising. Online betting advertising is prevalent in Europe but illegal in the United States.

“When I saw you striping that Cheesehead in purpose, I thought about the jokes with (a certain voice teacher), and reminded myself that she (now in Boston) is the opera soprano who would not wear a viking helmet -- but instead, she's a soprano wearing a Cheesehead who would wear that instead of an opera soprano's viking helmet!” (That is the voice teacher who “comes from a long line of Cheeseheads in the Upper Peninsula”.)" -- to a news host who put stripes on her Cheesehead on-air.

“It is important that parents be able to have school choice in order for them to understand schools and the type of textbooks being promoted. A child should be educated in reading, writing, arithmetic, history, civics, languages, and science, not the claptrap of feelings, emotions, and the latest fad education system that promotes a fringe environmentalist viewpoint of the world, and other 'standards' of extreme leftist feelings that has sadly spread quickly through the education system through the California value system in our schools today. Many of the books have encouraged a generation to speak out in favour of modern liberal philosophies that has sadly spread like wildfires, that even parents and churches are having a hard time to tell their children is wrong.” – on the Trouble with Textbooks on Fox News. A reader of the local newspaper wanted my head for citing Fox. What news channel can you cite?"

"Recently the NewSpring Church in Anderson has been nailed for questionable songs used in worship services. When you've built a repetoire of singing sacred song, what do these songs at NewSpring say when they have four campuses (also GVL, CAE, FLO)? Sorry, but Beyonce Knowles and Mariah Carey are not songs for the church. When you're Händel, Bach, and Haydn, what could you say?" -- On a Circus Church.

"Adam Lambert's performance at the American Music Awards merits him a trip to the Oval Office where he is likely to be fined $200,000, given a 200-point penalty, and a 12-week suspension. As Monty Hall, and now Wayne Brady, would say, ZONK!" -- A performance on an awards show was grotesque I thought he needed the Gong on the Gong Show or be awarded the Zonk prize on the game show hosted by Mr. Brady. Heavy fine and points penalties are common for the use of a "mountain motor" -- an engine that is larger than acceptable limits in motorsport classes.

"What is with the obsession over This Is It? It puzzles me why people are gaga over this one movie about the last practice of a concert by a pop star who overdosed on drugs and assumed room temperature. "

"Please! Drag Queens are NOT -- I repeat -- NOT stupid men who dress like women and perform stupid dance routines. Drag Queens are women who whip men on a straight strip of concrete and/or asphalt 660, 1,000 (nitro), or 1,320 feet long -- in a car (Ashley Hood), motorcycle (Karen Stouffer), or truck. Rick Stewart will straighten this issue out. Paul Page and Mike Dunn define it." -- at Mrs. Lewis-Jones' dance event, with so many friends (all heterosexual, some married) attending. I was outraged by it that I turned into John Force!

"The Sprint Cup side of me reminded me as we see Halloween material of the Fox promo they used for the Dover race in the early years of NASCAR on Fox. Neil Goldberg, Artie Kempner, and Gary Lang found "Monster Mash at the Monster Mile" an apropos theme. (Joy also called in 1998 the IRL's “Monster Mash at the Monster Mile”.) -- on the song "Monster Mash"

"What was with the idea of this 'social gospel' promotion? A major question about mainline churches has been the advancement of social gospel. With two of my favourite friends from school in the military, why do some denomination leaders have problems with soldiers?" -- at a friend's church after college Homecoming.

"Does anyone notice the celebrity in the Sears commercial who can't make up his mind on obtaining a television?" -- on a Sears commercial for televisions.

"There's something in the water in Laurel, MS, that makes them smart. I've known one too well . . . watching a certain Congresscritter who represents the BNA area on Fox News shows the water in Laurel is very nice." -- on Marsha Blackburn's appearances discussing stupidity of the government on Fox News.

"The next 'destroy our economy' idea is being sold to power companies. Now Clinton and Gore are telling power companies to buy only electric putt-putts endorsed by them instead of trucks. If there's a power outage and we need to fix the problem, do we send in an electric car or a big pickup truck with all the gear loaded to fix it?" -- on the Gore Project's request that was electric companies bought to buy approved small cars instead of mid-size cars and trucks for work. Now remember it was this request that killed US automakers as they had too many large cars and trucks, and Ford has become a manufacturer that produces rebadged Mazdas, and now Geelys.

"The real winners in (TCU's undefeated season, beating BCS conference teams), not withstanding the Horned Frogs, are Comcast and the Mountain West. Comcast, which owns Versus, which has a television deal with the MWC, has been trying to get VS on DirecTV. A big MWC win against the BCS-ESPN team equals more people clamouring for Versus to get important ...games in the Big XII, Pac-10, and MWC. DirecTV dropped Versus in August while keeping MTV."

"Ainsley at Fox News (who graduated at the same university as I did) recently said you aren't supposed to wear white after Labour Day. Since Labour Day was stripped from South Carolina's map thanks to Ferko, there is no such day, so you indeed CAN wear white. No Fashion Faux Pas!" -- At a Kathy Troccoli concert September 19, the 51-year old songstress wore a white jacket and black slacks.

"Go Figure. DirecTV believes Александр Овечкин and Анна Нетребко aren't worthy to be on their channels, but no-talent thug 'music' is suitable to be on their channels? Go figure!" -- on the DirecTV-Versus squabble. Time Warner Cable is now in a squabble with Fox, NBC, and Scripps as I write. If TWC thinks MTV is more valuable than Michael Schumacher, Bobby Flay, and Garth Tander, what are they thinking?

"Whatever happened to real church music? At a talent programme in town Saturday, three churches entered -- all had youth dancing or puppeteering to secular music. No doctrine or theology in any of the music, and one of the churches used a popular television series, more questionable in light of a questionable performance of its star on-air that week!" -- a talent show in town (name unlicenced from RTL?) featured churches performing, and all of them were secular performances using pre-recorded music to dance. Singers and musicians were not welcome.

"Blame it on (my voice teacher) . . . she is the reason I left the choir at my church and decided not to sing in 'Glorious Impossible' (a Warner Music Group karaoke production at church) and chose to sing Händel's Messiah with (a friend) at her church. She and I had the same voice teacher for 11 months in 2003-04."

“I think one problem is that unfortunately, most of the 'Christmas' music is in actuality winter music. I have a friend in New South Wales where it's summer and you're spending Christmas on the beach in 85-90-degree heat. People are tired of winter music, and a mate or two proves it. Furthermore, I've grown tired of hard rock music in the church that kids think is 'cool', relevant, and the only way to go." – a radio station played “Christmas” music for Halloween.

“Excited about singing the biggie. (Radio station) playing Christmas music on Halloween . . . puzzled me since much of it was 'winter music,' not the sacred Christmas material I've grown to love, let alone with the Squirrel and the Cheesehead.” -- about Messiah

"There's a difference when you learn to sing Händel and Christmas is when you anticipate singing masterpieces, and you do it at other friends' churches because your home church feels kids doing the Olson Twins' 'Jingle Bell Rap' and adults singing karaoke pop are suitable for two (collegiate) singers -- a Hill-trained Summer Chorus member and a Darázs-trained Concert Choir member. The Darázs soprano may accept karaoke pop, but the Hill tenor won't."


In our For What It's Worth Department, Citadel Radio announced Paul Harvey signed off for the last time this weekend, having died at 90.

It was a much different time on radio when I first began listening to Mr. Harvey on the radio. The Fairness Doctrine made it impossible to provide much of today's popular news/talk format that we have accustomed ourselves to be listening every day. When we wanted to hear the big national news reports, I remember listening to Paul Harvey.

But, of course, Harvey was one of the old-time radio broadcasters whose sense of news reading was there. He was one of the last I remember to feature "live" advertising breaks (where the anchorman actually reads the ad copy on-air as he heded towards the break). He had this homespun style that always had a keen wit that always had you coming back. And after the popularity of his "Rest of the Story" segments, he and his son Paul Jr decided to make it its own segment. I remember when we had local radio that they would play Paul Harvey's The Rest of the Story (which his son produced, wrote, and now hosts) in evenings before Sports Talk.

Compared to some of the obnoxious shock jocks we hear on the radio today (Howard Stern, Bubba the Love Sponge, and other morning radio hosts have I do not even want to hear) and the stupidity of the bad pop-rock, rap, or other forms of music that is the "platinum standard" of radio today, Paul Harvey symbolised a radio that meant something, similar to the current batch of sensible news/talk radio such as Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity, current news analysts. (We do not have news or talk programming on local radio today.)

Paul Harvey . . . Good Day!