Thursday, September 23, 2010

This Just In

Germanotta to be tried for Inappropriate “Music”: Jury Named by Judge Gazaway

(NEW YORK, NY) – In light of the major wins at the MTV Video Music Awards, Stefani Germanotta, known as “Lady Gaga” on stage, was called by officials at the top of Park Avenue Tower for inappropriate behaviour by Bill Gazaway, supervisor of operations at Park Avenue Tower.

The decision to arrest Miss Germanotta came after inappropriate behaviour during the event, including being a bad role model for children, violating the dress code, and promoting X-rated material in front of youth.

Mr. Gazaway sent the following e-mail to Miss Germanotta, which has been released to the public:

From: Bill Gazaway, Supervisor of Operations at Park Avenue Tower
To: Stefani Germanotta and Attorneys
Re: Hearing on Inappropriate Behaviour.
In regards to your consistent problems with behaviour, the examples you are setting for others, and further troublesome actions as shown on Sunday night, September 12, you are to appear in front of Park Avenue Tower court at 65 East 55th Street, 36th Floor in New York City, in the case of Park Avenue Tower v. Stefani Germanotta, on the second of October, in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand Ten, in a jury trial.

The jurors for this case are as follows:

Walter Cuttino
Gretchen C. Close
Darrell L. Waltrip
Kathleen C. Troccoli
Lawrence J. McReynolds III
Serena D. Hill
F. Marc Rattray
Deborah Voigt
James Morris
David Pryce-Jones
Michael K. Joy (jury foreman)
Laura C. Schlessinger

Our solicitor who will be the lead prosecutor will be Jacob Will. Assistant prosecutors will be Анна Нетребко and Nicholas Smith.

Your hearing is set for Saturday, the second of October, in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand Ten, at Ten O'Clock. Failure to attend shall result in an automatic conviction.


Bill Gazaway
Supervisor of Operations
Park Avenue Tower
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