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| Canada celebrates, US mourns, after historic announcement |
OTTAWA, ON -- Fresh off the surrender papers signed by President Obama on 21 February 2014, the Royal Canadian government has ordered United States currency declared worthless and all such fraudulent currency burned.
"It is important that with this historic surrender of a nation that their currency be declared worthless," said officials at the Exchequer. With that the only currency permitted in the newly conquered territories will become the Canadian dollar.
