Wish I'd Written That

By Mitchell

Few entertainers were smoother or could prick the balloon of Hollywood pomposity better than Johnny Carson. With this being Oscar® night tonight, here’s a sample of Johnny’s quotes from his years hosting the show:

As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
1979

I see a lot of new faces. Especially on the old faces.
1979

This is the night that Hollywood puts aside its petty jealousies, and brings out its major jealousies.
1982

You people who just tuned in at home, this is the Academy Awards. Warning: contents may cause drowsiness; do not drive or operate heavy machinery.
1984

Okay, folks, we're into our fourth hour now. Let's check the board and see how much we've raised.
1984