Winnipeg, MB (June 2, 2011) – Officials at True North Enterprises announced that the city of Atlanta, in the state of Georgia in the United States of America, has been purchased by True North Enterprises, and has announced their plans for the city.
Officials announced the city and its landmarks will be purchased, and the city will be burned by True North officials, and spread with salt to ensure a barren land devoid of development. True North's plans are to move all businesses in the city that is being purchased to be moved to the Province of Manitoba as part of the plans to move destroy the entire city into a waste dump. Atlanta will be burned to the ground and become a giant landfill for Manitoba and all regions nearby.
“We are very pleased to revitalise Winnipeg with the major purchase, and we are extremely excited about this conversion by moving Atlanta's premiere companies, Delta, Coca-Cola, UPS, and Home Depot, to Winnipeg. By acquiring an entire city, our new loot will allow us to increase the stature of our city at the expense of a rotten city that deserves to be burned to the ground. As part of the plans, Canadian rock group Nickelback will perform at concerts in Winnipeg that will celebrate each part of burning Atlanta to the ground in order to convert it into the wasteland we envision,” said officials at True North during the press conference. True North officials plan to implode all buildings, bury them, and as plans continue, begin converting a once-proud city into a landfill for everyone to use.
Manitoba officials, ecstatic over the announcement, will prepare the new headquarters immediately and are anticipating the huge number of refugees from Atlanta as they prepare for their new life in Winnipeg and surrounding areas.
The state of Georgia is now preparing plans to move its capital to another area in light of the announcement.
