(MEDINAH, IL) -- United States President Barack Obama has signed the Treaty of Medinah, announcing the Surrender of the United States of America, ceding the end of the 236-year old country, putting it in the hands of the European Union.
Officials at the PGA of America and the European Tour witnessed the historic signing, which gives the European Union the entire former United States, which will now be administered as one giant nation by the European Union. The lawmaking body will be legislated from the member nations of the European Union, which will govern the newly captured territory themselves.
"This monumental collapse Sunday forced our forces to surrender. With the accumulating debt, we have no choice but to give up our flag, currency, way of life, and surrender everything to the European Union."
The official currency of the captured territories will be the Euro, and the metric system will replace the Imperial system immediately. The nation's new capital will be in Brussels. ◙